When Paul comes home we will watch a movie together. I love my Paul. He called me to say he wouldn't be going out tonight and was hoping we could sit together and watch a movie. That pleases me and I am happy.
So here I am waiting for Paul. I'm hungry, too. And I can't hear one thing calling for me from the cupboard. That means there is nothing worth bothering to fix and eat. But damn, my tummy is SINGING.
The weirdest thing - our mobile phones won't connect. When I call him, that voice from nowhere tells me "the number you are tryiing to reach is disconnected or no longer in service" and when he calls me that nowhere voice tells him "the Nextel subscriber you are trying to reach is no longer in service". But otherwise, our phones work normally with all other numbers! Hmmmmmm.
Against any basic wisdom, I checked my work email. Plain dumb on a Friday night. I did well this week at work not having 'attitude', but I only worked 3 days. I called in sick Monday and Tuesday, and I really was. Sort of. I was sick of work. For the life of me I could not find the energy to struggle all day choking back sarcastic comments and keep my eyes from rolling. Behaving well and grown up takes so much out of me.
But in my defense, I work with and in some real disfunction. Please Lord, don't let anybody I work with find this blog. Okay, I guess the email I sent shortly before leaviing tonight went to the went to the wrong person...well it went to the person I sent it to, I just didn't mean to send it to that person. I'd also CCd my 'boss'. The wrong recipient Replied All and said she had no idea what the email was about. My boss replied to her, using more words than necessary, (he always does) that it was a mistake, please disregard and it wont happen again. Dude! It most likely WILL happen again! Jeez. And when I CCd him it was as a COURTESY and he had NO BUSINESS replying for me. I know the recipient and I know it was no big deal and would have apologized and said something funny about it. I would like the guy a whole lot better if I not only didn't have to deal with him daily, but working 'for' him really SUCKS. He's dumb!!!!! He's THE BOSS! He has BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN STICK HIS business all up IN STUPID THINGS. Doesn't he?? Do something IMPORTANT.
But who am I to talk. I'm the one who checked my email on a Friday night.
I'm trying so hard not to let things get to me at work. I think I am doing mostly well. But things are not right and there is nothing I can do to fix them, and I'm such a driven fixer kind of person. So Paul tells me to use the serenity prayer. That is becoming my mantra.
I'm still waiting for Paul. He'll be going to the west coast on Sunday. I hate when he goes. I'll be waitiing for him again. It will be a tougher struggle doing the happy/nice thing at work next week without his cariing, wise and Patient support. Argh. Dreading already. I will NOT be able to go to sleep Sunday night. I'd better think about spending sunday moving the wood pile or something so I'm totally exhausted.
And I have this peculiar burning sensation on the skin atop my left forearm. For 3 days now. I think it's scleraderma.
Pauls home! *yay*
Peace.
