Strange Karma Day

So I'm home, with no plans on the board. I looked outside earlier, and our neighbor Nan is in Paul's car, talking on the telephone. She's been coming over to use the phone because she is having a difficult time with Bob. Background - Nan and Bob are in their 80's. Bob has Alzheimers and in November he lost his driver's license. He didn't take that well and has become increasingly antagonistic with increasing violence. Nan is afraid. She is also not comfortable involving us, although Paul went over to talk to Bob on one occasion, when she came over to use the phone and described that current situation.

Well, now there is an ambulance, 2 state police cars and even traffic control and other volunteers in front of Nan and Bob's house. Poor Nan and Bob. I don't want to intrude, so didn't go out, but I hope nobody is hurt. Although that is a stupid thing to say, because there is obviously a lot of pain and hurt in this situation for them. I don't know if they took Bob away, I don't know how Nan is....

Paul is on the phone with the salvage people. He found the Jetta (2001 wagon, WAS in great shape) where the boys abandoned it, at Ryan's house. It no longer runs. They used it for about 2 weeks before they killed it and I'm hopping mad. Paul had to shovel it out so it could be towed. He said it was full of water - the window had been left open. There was beer all over it, and dents and scratches on the back of it, and of course, it wasn't running. The garage found that there was a "rod through the engine". I don't know what causes that. This car which had a blue book value of about $9,000 now has no value other than salvage. It will cost a minimum of $3,000 for a new engine, and that is only part of what would need to be done to put this vehicle back to rights. The irony is that Sean begged to borrow it so that he and Ryan could get to school, and then they didn't even do that. Sean did not pass the semester because of too many absences. Ryan was the driver, so he is so not off the hook here. I'm disgusted with both the boys. When Paul went to get the car, Sean came out of the house and demanded "What the hell are you doing here??!!" No offer to help, no apologies....NO EFFORT TO MAKE AMMENDS.

That's what concerns me. It was an extra car, but it did have value. The loss is not going to bankrupt us or put us in a bad spot, but that is not the point. The fact that Sean shows no contrition over what he did to MY car worries me.

Right now Sean is in NY City. I don't know what he is doing. He is with Ryan and Joey. Joey's real mother lives there. (He's been fostered with a family in East Lyme for the past several years) Sean's father Mike called on Chrismas Day, but Sean wasn't here. He asked if there were "any issues with Sean". Being in the middle of a dynamite Domino game with everyone, I didn't feel as if it were a good time to have an in depth conversation so I lied and said "He's 17, issues come with the territory". Not exactly a lie, but a smoke screen, I guess. I asked Paul if I should contact Mike and have a dialogue about Sean. We both couldn't find any good reason to do that. It would be highly improbably that such a conversation would result in anything positive, given Mike's nonparticipation in Sean's life for the last five years, and would probably result in a lot of additional anger on Sean's part. I have to check the legality of that, because I'm very uncomfortable with what my responsibilities may be to Mike around that. And I'm scared for Sean. I can't imagine what he is getting himself into now.

So, some twists and turns. Some bumps. I am grateful for the blessing of having two wonderfully stable children, because this third one is tearing my heart out. Because you see, once you become a parent, you not only feel your own stuff, you feel your childrens' stuff, too. When they hurt, you hurt. When they are happy, you are happy. But unlike your own stuff which can be somewhat controlled, you can't control what the kids do, so its like hang on for the ride!

And onward we go....

Peace