Sometimes things just explode. Just for no reason. Spontaneously, perhaps. Not that this wasn't a good time for me to get a kidney stone stuck on its way out, but that is an experience that is inconvenient any time. There is a certain amount of hoops one must jump through to get a stuck kidney stone extracted. These hoops will try a saint's patience. It takes days and weeks to get back on track.
Finally had a removal schedule for Sunday. After the removal, a stent was placed in the urethera to keep the swelling down, and is expected to remain there for at least a week, and this is to keep the urethera open during healing. The stent is awful. It makes sitting, standing, walking and just plain movement uncomfortable at best and frequently painful. After spending the day in the hospital, I arrived home with the stent, antibiotics and pain meds. Within a few hours the stent was half way out of me. THAT has never happened before.
When I called the doctor he said, "Well, you have no choice but to finish pulling it out, and there is a good chance the urethera will swell shut and you'll have pain again and end up in the ER". Because that is exactly where I want to go AGAIN. The good news is so far, not too bad. I don't know how long a blockage takes to build up and cause pain since the other side is working, but not bad yet. Maybe I'll be lucky - that does happen occasionally.
CHAPTER II
This conversation was for the purpose of getting information from him about where I need to file my paperwork to ensure I recieve my retirement when he retires. He was totally insulted that I would think he would not meet his legal requirements towards that end, although I am pretty sure I did not indicate I thought that. And he strongly emphasized his history of meeting his legal requirements in the past as illustration of his good character. Given a long history of shenanigans on his part, his court ordered obligations, backed up by the military and risk to his career doesn't go far with me as an illustration to good character. But that remained unspoken. I asked him if he noticed that I did not pursue the child support issue when he returned to the states, after he hid behind the Soldiers and Sailors Act so he wouldn't have to pay the Connecticut recommended amount for his salary. I know how much money he makes, and how much he has made over the last five years, and according to the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines, he should be paying much much more for his share of Sean's support. But when balancing the benefit of pursuing an action to ammend that situation and the irritation at having to deal with this person again, I decided it was so not worth it. Sean wants for nothing, and it is so nice not having to deal with the other half of his family tree for all this time gone by.
This person told me that if I sued him for more child support "he would counter-sue me". Knowing that he has no grounds for that, I more or less ignored that, because it was dumb. But he continued. "Sheila, if you sue me, I will counter-sue you for all the years I supported your kids". So he confirmed how dumb he is. Poor Sean. This is part of what makes him who he is...must have sympathy.
So now, after a good year and a half of no contact, this was part of the conversation with him. Oh my God. I almost want to contact my lawyer and open things up again, just to make him dance. Entertainment comes in a lot of different forms. What he doesn't get is that it is simply not worth it to me, and for that he stands to benefit. He believes with all his stunted mind that he can sacrifice Sean in order to keep a standard of living to which he thinks he is entitled.
Without going into details about the rest of this farcical conversation, lets suffice it to say it was more of the same Alice in Wonderland theme. And I was the one on pain meds.
CHAPTER III
The boy. I love my son. We had a big argument after the phone conversation with his genetic donor. It was painful, and probably pointless. The big issue: He passed the DMV drivers test, driving & written, at Briarwood, in October, but screwed up and we didn't take him to DMV for the actual license. The window for that is three months, which is over in a couple days. He is panicking. So, he is trying to show us why it is important for him to have his license, even though he has no vehicle to drive, and we are trying to make him see what our problems are around that. Number one: as soon as he has his actual license, we will be looking at a substantial increase in our vehicle insurance. Number two: he badgers, and it doesn't serve us well for him to have a license and the itchy need to to drive and the only vehicles available is ours. After the Jetta incident, I don't want him driving my vehicles.
"But", he whined, "If I have my license, I can get a job, and that is the only way I can get my own car".
"Son", I replied, "having a license has nothing to do with you getting a job, since you no longer have anything to drive".
Paul and I told him if he found a job within a certain perimeter and hours, we'd be happy to support that with rides.
"But", he whined some more, "I don't want to have to wait around for you guys to give me rides".
"Son", I replied with a stretching of my patience, "what makes you think you are entitled to the absence of inconveniences in your life? And perhaps you could point out your other options?"
Well, we agreed we would get his license, BUT we would put it in the safety deposit box until he had something to drive.
Like the bubbles, waves and other detritus that erupt to the surface after putting an M-80 in the water, the hidden agenda appears on the table.
"Thats not fair!" Sean yells. "I want to have my license in my pocket, so I can take it out and look at it!".
Can I tell you that at this point, all my tolerance for nonsense had been reached. Looking at Sean I said, "Sean, you have just been told that you will recieve what you've been wanting and asking for. Can you tell my WHY you are not happy with that and WHY we are getting no 'thanks' for it? You have been telling us that if you don't go to DMV and get your license, you will have to reschedule and retake the test and that will make a difficult situation more difficult for you, so you would just like to get that step out of the way. We've told you the price we will have to pay, again, to help you towards that end, and have agreed to help you anyway, and now you want more and aren't satisfied with our compromise. It is apparent to me that you have additional secret items on your agenda, I don't like it."
And after more verbal creations from Sean, the conversation ended. Unresolved.
Epilogue
So today I sit in a stew of non resolutions. Unresolved kidney stone issues. Unresolved issue of a boy with faulty expectations around his percieved needs, and a conversation with his father that revealed some interesting perspectives. I am way behind with my courses, my laundry, housecleaning, some minor errands, and some work tasks. On the bright side - while looking at my pay stub I discovered I have recieved a substantial raise. Guess thats something. Not being one to accept something unconditionally, I must add shading. 'What kind of company gives raises and doesn't give the employee a heads up with an explanation?' and 'This is going to make my leaving and starting over somewhere else a little bit trickier'...just a couple things that popped into my head....
Peace
1 comment:
Wow all I can say is that you are a great writer! Where can I contact you if I want to hire you?
Post a Comment