Fifty and Nifty

First of all, I'd like to comment to some fellow bloggers:

X - referring back to your fire blog. can we call you pyr-X now? and referring to your dream. Could that have something to do with this upcoming Saturday? a little indecision, per V's interpretation?

V - please know that I am pulling for you. wish I could help, and if I can in some way, just holler. I was anxiously awaiting to hear any results of 9th stepping your dad. and good luck on Monday! If you are free on Sunday, come on over with X and Mel for some quiche and salad, cake and dominosis. (intentional - I like the way that came out - dominosis)

So, some reflections on being 50.

Question: am I now half empty or half full?

"Fifty" is sort of cool...like fifty percent off sales, who doesn't like that? Fifty cents will get 10 minutes on the car vacuum at the car wash place, and 15 minutes in the laundrymat dryer. It takes about fifty minutes for me to get to work, which leaves 10 minutes to fart around.

Actually, I hadn't given it much thought until I found a card from AARP in the mail. Paul handed the envelope to me, and said "This must be for you", and thinking he was joking, I laughed. Ha effing Ha. But it is kind of cool, once I get past the shock. AARP offers lots of discount things. So, X, next time we go somewhere, we can use my AARP discount for dinner, hotel and show. Bonus.

I'm looking at the people around me that previously I thought of as elderly and who are now my peers. They are NOT elderly. They are, um, ripening? mellowing? The view always looks different depending on where you stand.

The journey to here has been interesting. I know, from past experience, that I will be facing some new challenges that this part of the journey demands. Every segment has its special challenges. I've finished with many of the painful ones that accompany maturation. I've learned to choose carefully what things to put in my 'carry on' bag, and which ones to leave along the side of the path. I've learned that what people carry with them is a judgement call, and what I carry is not something someone else may think is worth the weight of lugging around.

It is not always with acceptance that I view the visible evidence of aging on my face and body. I've heard from many people a little further ahead with their journey than I that when they look in the mirror, really look, they are always surprised by what they see. It doesn't match up with how they feel inside.

Sometimes I pull at the little folds in my face in an attempt to go back a few years. It is not the same. My eyes tell a story of knowledge gained, sorrow overcome, and finally a gentle acceptance of what has been and what will be, and the smoothed out skin can't hide that.

So, onward ho...trying not to trip on the terrain...

Peace