"Don't believe your thoughts"
I tell myself this frequently throughout the day lately. H wrote first of it, and I apparently didn't understand. Then it was addressed in The Four Agreements. And while waiting for my oil change, this concept was again in my face in the form of a magazine article.
I'm not sure I totally understand the whole thing, but something that knocks on your door three times has to be looked at. Something like, we are programmed from birth, causing repression of our real selves, and our thoughts are the result of the falseness of the programming. They are false. Sounds weird. But this is what happens:
Tooling down the road, the thought pops into my head: "I hate it when _____ does _______." "It is because ________." I feel my muscles tense and the walls of my mind start closing in. Then I say out loud, "Don't Believe Your Thoughts!" And then I laugh, partly because I spoke to myself out loud, and partly because the instant I do that, my mind opens back up, and that judgemental assumptive thought disappears, back to the sewer it came from. Its nice. Then I tell myself, "good job". But I just think that, because I don't want to appear too squirly.
The day seems to flow better. I find I'm more present, without all those crazy thoughts, and I feel better. I blurt things just a little less, because I dismissed the thought that would have caused the blurt. (note - when people are nearby I DO NOT say "don't believe your thoughts" out loud).
Okay, there is another level I don't have a handle on yet. Surely SOME of my thoughts must be real. Which ones? How do I differentiate? I intend to ride the wave with this one, though. I am thinking that will become clear in time, Grasshopper. Ruh Roh, was that a real thought?
Peace, (I think)
5 comments:
Ahh-yes. I have thought and thought about this for years-controlling my mind in order to control my feelings/emotions.
In my senior year of high school, I DECIDED to have fun, be happy. I was for nearly a year. While I wasn't concious of all of the thoughts that went in to how I felt, I decided to be happy and I was. I ran for student council and won, I made many friends and gave up on judging each kid remembering instead that old phrase, "he/she puts their pants on one leg at a time".
This takes time. I believe years perhaps even a lifetime. Certainly not the time it takes to read a book. But, it can raise our awareness and get us thinking and striving for who we want to be.
You are becoming aware-isn't that the first step in any self-improvement?
I think Don's choice of the word 'dream' is probably not a good one for those of us who think logically. I like to replace it with 'reality'. It is my reality. It is your reality. Some of your thoughts are real because we can choose our reality. We can choose to accept the book of law in our minds or erase that law and replace it with a new reality. But, I think it does have to be replaced or it never actually goes away.
This is hard stuff to grasp and I believe that if we over-analyze it then we run the risk of being a little crazy. Like speaking out loud to ourselves. Things like that...:)
Elf,
Maybe that is what I am doing wrong? I am totally believing my thoughts-and blurting. Ever notice it is very hard to take back the blurt. I want to say, "rewind... scratch that" but-nope, I don't have that luxury.
Guess what happens then...Yep... I say more in an effort to support my reasoning behind the blurt. But, since the blurt is a blurt- my reasoning is often faulty. BUT, then I am pissed when my faulty reasoning is pointed out, even if it is done gracefully. Then, why then I feel the worst thing ever-
I feel judged. I hate that!!
Cool piece. Please believe that thought I just had...thanks Elf!
~Paige
Good example: "you feel judged..." YOUR THOUGHT IS FALSE! Our thoughts come from faulty programming. Use that when you are feeling, for example, 'judged'. The thoughts that brought you that feeling are false - based on, as H says, faulty reality. Get rid of it, don't believe it. Lies, I tell you, nothing but lies... :)
BTW - I JUST now, a few hot minutes ago, figured out "Paige Turner". Not you, you're on your own for that, but the pseudonym. I get it. I thought it was based on a real person, like a deep author I had never before heard of, or a singer or something. Is it and I missed something? Or am I right, and its, well, you know,...turning pages, like as in reading a book..you're a page turner?
I'd better not go to TN, don't think I'll be contributing to any raise in the IQ as H surmises.
hope you're not having too bad a day today -E
Elf-Congrats! You cracked the page turn...turning pages piece of the puzzle. Although had I thought more about it...I would have gone with terner as I always admire the little terns when I am on the Cape visiting.
They swoop at my head when I ride my bike down this beach road too close in their opinion to their nests-that kind of protect the young behavior warrants respect...I suppose I could still change it-if I ever complete the satire a guy asked me to write. The guy who published the chapter I wrote.
I must say Elf-I spent years learning to trust my judgement, thoughts, blah-blah...and now I am hearing these thoughts-I would actually not mind being false are in fact false...hmm who should I believe? My money is kind of on you and H, X you too-but...that is also a scary thing in scary..good ways.
Thanks Elf
~Paige
And guess what, I had yet ANOTHER epiphany yesterday, an hour or so later. You know that song, (old) "kind of a drag" (when your baby is untrue)? Up until yesterday, I'd always thought those lyrics were "Canada Dry", and could NEVER figure that out in context. What a silly goose. I was howling when I figured it out, and was confirmed by the DJ.
Also - appreciate the dilemma about having spent time learning to trust your thoughts. I'm there, too. Trying to figure out which of my thoughts are valid? I'm thinking I just have to roll with this, and hope practice makes perfect, and it'll become clear. I know the "judging" one is VERY false. We are our own worst judgers. And if anybody has the gall to judge us, we have to understand they are judging us from their own junk, their own false reality. So it is never valid, and we need not pay attention to that. We just have to learn to apply that to our own tendency to judge our selves.
Lots of questions remain for me yet regarding this, but I know that when I've started on some bad thinking, I wake myself up with the reminder not to believe what I am thinking, and so far have enjoyed a feeling of sort of like freedom when I do that. It sort of reduces any expectations, too, around faulty thinking, so I'm able to enjoy myself even when I'm not looking forward to something, like breakfast this morning with the crew. SO not looking forward to it, but when I find my thoughts starting to go there, what this one is going to say, or what this one is going to do, and how I hate that...etc, I stop and say, "Don't believe your thoughts". It doesn't matter what this one says or does, or anything. Just go and be in the moment.
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