Poof. Summer.
Hate to bring it up, folks, but Christmas is right around the corner.
I'm in a funk. An angry, anxious funk. There is so much around here that I think needs to be done, and I feel overwhelmed. My son is pissing me off. Work is screamingly BORING.
What the fuck.
I can't pinpoint any one source, but I'm in a head biting mood. A "don't give me that shit" kind of mood, because I'll throw it right back atcha. I don't want to compromise, I don't want to say nice things to people, and play their pretend games - like responding to the hotel clerk's "have a nice day", that I hope she has one too, when in fact I couldn't care less, and I don't particularly want her caring about my day either. So save the meaningless words.
Oh well. This too will pass. Plod, plodplodplodplod. Plod along and it will become history. Forgotten. Until the next time. It is the nature of my journey.
Just wish I could identify what is bugging me. Because when I can't, I tend to use dirty bombs. And cause collateral damage. And that isn't good because the cause still hasn't been resolved and I've just made things worse. Note to self: Be careful.
Peace
4 comments:
Here's what's bugging you...
YOU'RE TIRED!!!!
All the visiting, driving, and sleeping away from home is catching up with you.
Maybe the Sox ticket needs to go to someone else and you go get in your bed and read, rest, SLEEP!
Or if not that, then maybe cancel this weekend to catch up on some laying around time.
Also, sometimes a reconnection stirs up dissatisfaction with the way things are. I know I'm feeling it BAAAAD. I swear, I was meant to be wherever you are. My life isn't complete without you and phone and emails just aren't enough for me.
Hang in there my sweet thing, Christmas is coming. Not the obligations that we women put on ourselves for Christmas, but the beauty of the season and compassion and togetherness and the smells and love and...Santa?
i feel like this lately too. it is hard for me to realize that it is just a place i am in, and it doesn't define me. i tend to look at how i am acting toward others and think that this is "the person i have become." it's times like this when i like to smack myself with the realization that they are just days. try to ride it out. i'll be there with you. good luck.
I get as you describe too. then I'm an a-hole to everyone and wind up hating myself...sooo been there...sorry.
Elf,
You stated "my son is pissing me off". Is that it? Or is he an annoyance...subject to the dirty bombs? I see what H and V write and think, when I am overtired...my feelings tend to make little sense in my present day life.
I think fatigue that is enormous produces a quasi mind regression-to sad, lonely and unfulfilled times-almost like one is lying in this invisible crib as this powerless, voiceless baby in a wet diaper with body aches and exhaustion...crying our lungs out-and no one picks us up and fixes "things". What the EEf? It is that kind of overwhelm....does enormous fatigue fit? I suspect you will know this am?? I am with you friend, keep on keepin on...You too V.
Paige
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