Bits and Bites

Something occurs to me early this morning. A couple things actually. After a strenuously emotional week, or month is more like it, I was actually able to hold on to a few thoughts and go with them.

First. I'm thinking that if I cannot hear something, or see something, or touch/feel something, or smell something, or taste it, to me, it does not exist. My brain has no way of knowing that thing exists. So, it must follow that all things exist only in relationship to ourselves. Unless we have imagination? But even what we imagine seems to have elements of what we know.

Second. Do we really, honestly and genuinely know how to love without posessing? How to enjoy something without owning it? Is there a way to strike the word "mine" from our vocabulary and thoughts?

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There is snow this morning. The first of the season, which is always magical. When I opened my eyes first thing and looked out the window, everything was born again, with a white wrapping. Taking the dogs out I looked watched as the flakes fell within the arc of the light, and thought how much like spermazoas they looked, racing for the egg.

Last night for supper we had chicken wings and naan. While preparing our naan's for warming up, we sprayed with oil, and Paul sprinkled his with oregeno and some other spices. I followed suit, and got the chives out for mine. Then the idea of cinnamon popped into my head, which was quickly followed by cinnamon SUGAR. Paul pointed out that it might mixing that with the chives might not be a winning combination, so I held my naan over the sink to shake off the chives, and it fell into the sink. I snatched it up and laughed. (Mel, don't read the rest). I decided to eat it anyway, my sink was clean and it was going into the oven. I put the cinammon sugar on it and put it in the oven. It was really good, and so far, I'm not sick.

A couple nights before I was stressed to the hilt. I didn't have the energy to fix something normal and nutritious for a meal, so I ate Cool Whip out of the bowl, with a bag of potato chips nearby. Little something soft and sweet, a little something crunchy and salty. It was like so perfect. Could be my new perfect meal.

Some of the things I'm grateful for today:

• my husband, who has enough energy for both of us, so that I can relax when I need to.


• a program that recognizes that people get themselves into trouble, and sometimes need help getting out.


• my five senses, which at this point in my life still don't betray me too often.


• my friends, and the tools that help us to keep in regular communication, even over a thousand miles.


• my children, who were/are the instruments of my own growth.


• my hot cup of tea.

And that wraps up another Sunday morning.

May it be a peaceful day for all.