I'm Not Who You Might Think I Am...

ING finally found me.

Some four plus years ago I opened an ING account. And then promptly forgot about it. How to access it, PIN, web site, user name...whatever. Didn't even know the account number. I figured that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, and let it ride without thinking too much about it.

They are required by law to remit unclaimed property to the state, if the account appears abandoned, blah blah blah, according to some time criteria. They sent me a letter. Using my Former Name. Bleck.

So I called the number provided in an attempt to stop them from giving my money to the state, and spoke to a nice boy named Bryan. I'm hacking and sniffing away, and stuffy, so not hearing so well. He explained to me everything I had already learned from the letter they sent, because I guess redundancy is critical in this business.

Then Bryan transferred me to Kelly, to answer some security questions. I had to answer those before for Western Union, when I sent Gabe money once? Well, when you are fifty plus one years old, and have a clotted carotid, there should be limits. Don't you know I freeking failed??? One question I didn't even realize I got wrong until Paul told me was the one about the Nissan Titan...what color is it. Alright. You KNOW I don't have a Nissan Titan, right? Smugly I'm thinking, "ah ha! you can't catch me on this one, I don't have one"

Well, fact is. My name is on Gabe's Nissan Titan, as co-owner. Shit. I forgot. And it's green, too. I DO have one.

Now mind you, this Kelly character had one of those high nasally squeaky girly voices and spoke a hundred miles an hour, and I couldn't understand half of what she said. One question REALLY peeved me and that was where Ian H--s lived, my former husband's nephew. Good God. I'm not even sure if he's still alive, never mind where the puck he is living. Not fair. I told Kelly. "I DON'T KNOW! I haven't seen him in more than 10 years! Last I knew he was in jail." She said, "guess, then". I said, "Please lets forget this and close the stupid account." She said, "just get through these questions."

Bite me.

The last one had to do with counties. She mentioned two counties in Mississippi and two in Minnesota, and asked me which one I had lived in or owned property in. I told her I had lived in both states but was clueless as to what counties I was in.

She said I had failed and she was going to have to close the account. Ya know??????? And I think she said I couldn't have another account with them. I'll be up all night crying...

I'm NOT who you think I am.

Peace