OSHA Effing Hell, Ducks & Near Misses

Lately, I've been just too tired to blog. Too mixed up with swirly whirly thinking going on. It all started with the effing 30 hour OSHA course, but I'll get to that.

I'd like to start with this morning, but will have to back up my story with a little history from another recent morning.

While the way to work, I passed a dead racoon in the road. I always acknowledge the critters killed by the monsters on 4 wheels, with a little prayer. "Rest in Peace, little racoony". Just to keep me from getting desensitized about something that is awful. After the racoon a little way, there was a deer on the side of the road, and oh my god, another one on the opposite side of the road. Yuck. Then a little further up, there was a squirrel. He was not dead. He was close to the yellow lines, on my side of the road, sitting up, not moving. He was obviously injured, but was stuck in hell, not being able to do anything but suffer, there, all by his little self, in the middle of morning rush hour. My heart was broken as I drove by. I couldn't figure any way to help the poor thing, so kept on driving. But it haunted me.

Which explains why I stopped for the duck this morning. Poor thing. Was sitting a few short feet away from the side of the road, not moving, just watching traffic go by. I thought I saw some raw places on his little green breast where I was sure he had gotten injured from a mean old car going by. So I swerved around, put the flashers on, and crossed the street. No driving by without helping today. The first challenge was not scaring him into the road, there to be squashed and leaving me feeling REALLY bad.

Sidling almost invisibly to one side, I softly spoke, "Here ducky ducky. What a pretty ducky. Are you okay, little handsome duck?"

Soothed and calmed he was not.

I was sort of embarrased, on the side of the road talking to a duck. But no worse than being in the bad parts of town looking for my son.

The duck peeked sideways into the sky, he kept looking, like he was waiting for someducky. Or something. And sure enough, in a few minutes, another lone duck came out of the west, and my roadside friend perked up and in an instant, took off in flight. He was alright. He was just waiting for his friend. As he headed east, he didn't gain much altitude at first, and was flying over the road, up, up, up the hill, where I was sure a truck was going to appear on the crest and smash him into duck soup. But he made it. Yay duck.

I took what was left of my dignity across the road with me to the truck, and continued on my way to Newport.

Had a pretty good day there. I stopped at a real interesting antique place to ask about their stock of antique door hardware. Need to see if I can get all matching sets for the doors at AA. That was fun, and I got to swap war stories about old houses. Finished my business and started to head back to Groton.

As I was coming off the second bridge, I noticed a black mark on the bicep part of my left arm. No way, A TICK?! Yep. A tick.

Ooops! Get off the shoulder, back into traffic.

Oh boy. I gotta get him off me. Where did I freaking pick up a tick??? If I screw this up, he could end up in my shirt. Or somewhere mysterious in the truck, and I'll never feel safe in it.

Ack! Close call. Get back on my side of the road.

Hmmmm. Well. Just go for it.

Very carefully I reached over and pinched it off between the thumb and index finger of my right hand. It came off easily. Thank god.

Okay, now there is no room for error. I've got to toss it out the window that is open a crack.

Woa! Hate those rumble strips.

With ultimate care I do the best I can getting that little blood sucker out the window, and cool! I made it. How do I know? It is sticking to the outside of the window. How does it do that??? That is a little creepy. I step on the gas. Ha. I know his little scillia is flying in the wind, he'll never be able to hang on.

As I watch him stroll casually across the glass.

Creepy, I tell you.

Oh well. At least he's on that side, I thought as I rolled up the window completely. Turned on the tunes and started singing away. Decided to stop at good old Dunkin's to get one for the road.

Are you still with me? Are you thinking, "well, I hope she doesn't go through the drivethru and open that window again"?

If so, you are way ahead of where I was in my own thinking, or lack of.

Driving away with my hot coffee settled in the cup holder, it dawned on me as I was preparing to roll up the window. Where is that bug??!! I look down, and he was walking down my door. The inside, by the arm rest...This time I was going to do it right, and I pinched him in my fingers again and tossed him HIGH in the air in the parking lot.

"Go find a duck", I said...

...and continued my trip back to the office.

After an hour on the road and a pint of coffee, my first stop when arriving was the bathroom. While washing my hands, I looked in the mirror to check my hair and noticed that I had two different earings on.

For Pete's sake. I'm a mess today. Talking to ducks on the side of the road, running around with two different earings, battling a tick...

It seemed like a good time to try to finish up a difficult module in my OSHA course. The office was quiet, and I had already tended to most things that might prove interruptive.

When I say difficult...it is an understatement. Believe me. Here is a sample...(heard through the dryest man's voice you could ever imagine in a million years)...

Subpart I - Tools - Hand and Power
1926.307 Mechanical power-transmission apparatus

1926.307(a)(3) Vertical and inclined belts if not more than 2 1/2 inches wide and running at a speed of less than one thousand feet per minute, and if free from metal lacings or fastenings may be guarded with a nip-point belt and pulley guard.

I'll spare you any more, and trust me there is more. Knowthat it went on and on. And on and on in that fashion for prime-mover guards, pulleys belt, rope, and chain drives, shafting, gears, sprockets and chains, keys setscrews and other projections, collars and couplings, guarding of clutches, cutoff couplings, and clutch pulleys, belt shifters, clutches, shippers, poles, perches, and fasteners....ad naseum.

I started this yesterday, but was interrupted several times and thrown off my groove. Because I allow myself the illusion of being in a groove.

I was determined to finish this up today.

The phone so knows when I'm in 'determined mode'. But I got through it. It was as horrible as you can imagine. As horrible as the tick? Hmmmmm. Yeah. I think worse.

And I passed the quick assessment with an 80, and the end of module assessment with a 70 - minimum to pass. And I was proud and so able to replace some of my dignity that disappeared throughout the earlier part of the day.

Next module - welding.

But I am tired. I've dealt with Sean now for two days. Yesterday turned better with him than it began, but I hadn't planned on today. It wasn't so bad though. I can never just relax and let my guard down with him. It's exhausting.

In his defense though, once I put my foot down about how I expect the work to be done that I am paying him for? He is doing pretty good, and accomplishing some things that I'm grateful not to have to do myself...like move wood. again.

Now that Paul is back from Seattle, we're trying to get back on track with The Wire, from Netflix. He put the next three discs at the top of the queu - season 4.

We waited patiently for them to arrive. And last Friday they did! All 3 discs! It was going to be a Wire kinda weekend, and we quickly made supper, got in our pj's and curled up on the couch to veg out. After some confusion, we figured out that we'd already seen season 4, and were actually starting season 5.

Serious bummer. All 3 discs went into the mail the next day, and we resigned ourselves to plan B. Whatever that was. And to waiting until Tuesday, when the new discs should be here, and we are both home.

Yesterday, Tuesday, Paul lets me know that indeed, two of the discs arrived. Do I want the "good news or bad news?" Only the second and third discs came in. The first one arrived today...but it's Wednesdays. He is not here on Wednesdays, and we always watch it together.

So I blog. I guess I'm overdue anyway. X got hers in, and I enjoyed that one a lot. Can't wait to see the new set. Are you following the OSHA guidelines while assembling it, I hope? Foo got hers in, but she is much better at being regular about it than I, and hasn't sent one even small hint my way this time that I'm overdue. V is truly good at it, and I know Rearview is beginning to formulate one, because he told me, and I don't know if Paige blogs anymore and hope with all my heart she is on the mend.

so, Peace out, you sprockets...