Hateful

To the cricket under my window who wont shut up; "clearly she doesn't want your skinny jiminy ass, give it a rest"

To the neighbor who has the old dump truck and needs to shift it seventeen times to get it past my house, up the hill and onto the main road; "really? you need to play with that thing again? don't you know it will fall off??"

To the motorcyclists who ride by in packs; "are you scared? are you fucking sally's that you need a hundred of your friends to go with you? perhaps you all should consider a fund raiser and buy freaking mufflers!"

To the idiots who blare their boat radios on the lake; "seriously? your oversized motor isn't enough motherfucking noise for you?"

To the early bird; "you are an idiot. the worms come out all stinking day, but my cat has been quietly sitting outside since dawn and knows right where you are. go the fuck back to sleep or YOU"LL be feeding the worms"

To the goddamn dog who won't stop barking; "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" oh, wait. that's my dog.

To the kids in the neighborhood; "what'sa matter? mommy not giving you enough attention? get your butts in the house and play video games."

To the 18 wheelers who feel the need to apply their air brakes going down the hill past my house; "grow some balls. you'll never get there if you ride the frigging brakes"

To the person operating the back-hoe; "seriously. turn the back up beep off. it's OBVIOUSLY time to give Darwinism a chance."

To the geese flying over; "fucking silence is fucking golden, for fuck's sake. it's fucking hunting season"

To the hunters in the woods; "for christ sake. how many shots does it take to hit one goose in a gaggle of twenty that sound like the dog pound at feeding time???"

And lastly, to my doctor; "Do you think my meds need adjusting?"