This Is For Harry

Yeesh, sisterfriend.

The only thing that preoccupied me today was the sticker on my peach. Why do they put stickers on my fruits? Why am I so shallow?

There is such a conversation in your post that I didn't want to put 500 words in the comment space.

First, School. I'm so so sorry to hear that it is quickly going downhill for you all. I so so wish I had something wise to tell you, something that might help you and Lilly and Ethan. We have our own agendas for our children, and mine and yours do not in any way mesh with the public school system's agenda for children.

Bear in mind that our children have to walk their own journies. In our culture, school is the beginning of their journies. It's where they learn about the world and how to deal with it, and it is a VERY important part of their learning. They can get through all the tough spots as long as you support them. It will help them learn about themselves, what they like and don't. It will help them learn their limits, and how to navigate the politics. It will help them learn how to get through situations that they don't like, or are difficult. It will help them learn about other types of people that they will live with. Knowing these things will help them be competent in the variety of situations that they will face as years progress. They will become stronger.

The academics are actually a small part of the whole school experience. They will learn what they want to know, whether it is in school or somewhere else. It is only because you are the woman you are that I say this. I know you will support and encourage your children and they need you. With your affirmations and love, they will get through the school part of their journies okay, and probably better than okay, because they will have learned they can. Be close by and volunteer often to be at school. That makes them feel a bit safer. Listen carefully to them when they come home and help them find something positive about each day. Tell them that hard is only hard, not impossible. And nothing is forever. And you have to let them do it. You have to let them have hard times. It's hard, but I love you and I will tell you that hard is only hard, not impossible. I'll listen carefully and help you find something positive about each day. Okay?

Neighbors - oh baby.

My family will tell you about the wars we've had. There is always a jerk in the neighborhood. Or in your case, a whole family of them.

In time it will become apparent whether or not your new neighbor is worth cultivating a friendship with. If she is worthy of your friendship, she will figure things out. Just be patient. It doesn't matter what the jerks say about you, because they are showing their cards, straight up, yep, just like that. If she chooses to take their statements seriously, then you don't need to be friends. Which is disappointing, but it will be a quick revelation about the type of person she is anyway. It does get messy and tricky when the kids start, because that can filter into school and stuff. Avoid saying anything at all about the jerky neighbors, you DO NOT have to defend yourself to anyone, nor do you want to be sucked into their gutter sort of life. Again, if this new woman is worth anything, she will not take what the jerks say to heart. Let the way you live your life expose the jerks for what they are. Pretend you don't know what is going on and pop by to say "hello". Bring some cookies that you just made, or some local coupons (kids eat free type things for local restaurants) and ask if she has any coffee on, you needed to take a break from laundry and thought you'd stop by for a chat and see how she is finding things.

Then go to the post office and fill out a 'change of address' card for the jerks.

Kidding.

Sexual advances.

This is something I've thought some about. I've observed that some victims of unwanted sexual advances, or even downright molestations or rape are multiple victims. The next logical question is why? And that is as far as I got in my thinking. I don't know, my darling, what on earth goes through some peoples' minds that make them think it's freaking okay to touch other people in very uncomfortable and familiar ways. Maybe because you are wonderfully friendly, and so trusting. I really don't know. I'm thinking you should exit this road. I'm not sure exploring it will bring you anywhere fruitful. But if you choose not too, let me know where you go with it.

I love you.

Peace