Amateur Theories, Applied to "X"

This week’s writing assignment from “X”

“How smoking affects my life. Where and when I smoke, and why I can't stop!”


Health-wise smoking affects everybody’s life, because even one cigarette scars the heart. However, the occasional cigarette that Crystal smokes will probably not be the cause of serious health issues. As far as lungs go, I would bet that any damage caused by that rare cigarette is cleaned up before the next one is even smoked.

Emotionally I think Crystal kicks herself around a bit for smoking even on rare occasions. But it gives her something to fight about, a challenge, so to speak, and she hangs on to that. Although she wants to be “good”, she doesn’t want to be ENTIRELY good, but not bad enough to cause destruction to her life. I wouldn’t categorize Crystal as a “smoker”, any more than I would categorize her as a drinker or white water rafter – it is just an activity she enjoys and allows herself once in a while.

Where and When Crystal smokes is only an assumption on my part. Once in a while she smokes with me, and she tells me she smokes occasionally with co-workers, and when she is out having beer with friends. Okay, putting that together and finding common ground, I’d have to say it is a social activity which she enjoys. With the self-discipline Crystal pursues on a regular basis, I think she enjoys the somewhat refreshing step towards indulgence. And I also think she enjoys the act, the taste.

Why Crystal can’t stop? Probably because she doesn’t really want to. If cigarettes regularly had a negative affect on her life, I bet she would stop. For example, if she was addicted and they cost her $200 a month, or if she had lots of fighting with Melanie because of it, or if she had to stop exercising because she had to catch her wind, well then I think Crystal would stop. As long as she is in control of smoking, she will continue, I think. Maybe I can’t identify the reason, but smoking definitely serves a purpose. There is a reason. And as long as it doesn’t adversely affect Crystal’s life, well there is no reason to know the reason. Right?

My theory about smoking is that people who smoke regularly, addictively, have some pain they carry around with them. When a situation gets too painful or too stimulating, they need to smoke, and anesthetize the feeling or they will overflow, because there is already as much as they can handle in their cup. When I see someone light up, I think that there is a period in their life which is probably unresolved, something happened that is still with them. Smoking doesn’t take that away, and perhaps they don’t even know what it is. BUT, that deep feeling makes it hard to deal with the daily stuff, the little stuff. So the smoking helps that on a number of levels: the nicotine works on the receptors, the conscious breathing works on the mind, and the break away from a situation to find and light a cigarette is safely distracting, even for a quick moment. Like any addiction however, it will inevitably eat its host. This is my theory, only. It is based on my limited knowledge of what is involved in addiction, and what I observed was the common thread among people I KNOW who smoke. I've successfully applied this to people I meet for the first time. If they light up, I figure there is a sad story in them, and that has proven frequently true.

Since I don’t see Crystal in this category, I would summarize my assignment by saying Crystal smokes the same way she eats chocolate, once in awhile, for the shear pleasure. The impact is purely psychological and as she grows and changes, she may stop or not. I am curious about the choice of topics for this assignment. It obviously bothers her on some level or she wouldn’t give it any thought. Thus , I make an assumption that she thinks it is "bad" to smoke. Take it from there.

Peace